DISCLAIMER: The average IITian would rather be caught sneaking into Dr. Khijwania’s class 8 minutes late than contesting an election for a senate position. This post is not for that fellow (its open to reading to all, though). Also, this is a personal comment on an undisputedly public issue. You are, however, free to raise a pseudo controversy if it helps you spark up your life.
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This one’s for those who demand contextually rich and practical tips. Without ado, I present my half baked yet fully effective 3 prong strategy to tilt the next campus elections in your favor:
AIM: To win, or at least make an impact in the Gymkhana elections. (We will abhor from judging the unfortunate reasons behind the same)
STRATEGY: The following are needed-
1. An active and preferably ongoing understanding with Bhoomi da & Co. and Vimal et al: The aforementioned are the effective incarnations of the RBI and its branches in the context of (our) campus except that they prefer dealing in closed-market operations. For the engineering-struck hapless souls in the campus, outlets of their preferred currency are nothing short of an oasis in an otherwise scorched earth. Controlling supply via closed market purchases and internal MOUs can effectively help you acquiring a vote demographic that is more generic and more encompassing than any academic department, festival or grudge
2. An active and again, preferably ongoing understanding with the “bike waale bhaiyyas“: This is related slightly more to the D-day executions, however no less important. Read On:
a. Last-minute convert-ees or lost/uninformed souls that need to be ferried to the ballot center.
b. Last minute rebels and rebel leaders that need to be tactfully tackled.
These and lots of other unpleasant and demanding situations are concomitant with elections and even the greatest political minds need to first be able to reach the issue before they can go all ‘Chankaya!’ Enter the Bajaj Pulsar. And the Yamaha FZ. And even the rickety old Hero Honda Splendor. As long its got a motor and wheels, it will more than do. An unnamed source said, “Almost 40% of the votes gathered for a certain winning candidate in the 2012 Gymkhana elections were ensured with the help of some common sense and a pair of wheels.”
3. The gift of Gab: This one’s a little hard to arrange, especially on a short-notice. However, worry not. As long as you’ve got points 1 and 2 covered, you are destined to run into people who can help you with point 3 (A recent study shows that jobless-ness looks for more of its kind, always.) And then, you’ll be waxing eloquent day long, ironically employing words such as “sincerely” like a broken hydrant for what is left of the campaigning period ( ‘sincere’ derives itself from sin cera, literally translated to ‘without wax’).
Get these in place and smile your way to the ballot center. Happy counting!
